Josh Hedges' blog

Finally arrived at my hotel in Abu Dhabi, the Rotana Yas Island. We’re just down the street from Ferrari World, so perhaps I’ll be able to get down there at some point this week. The trip was fairly pleasant. I was a bit surprised with how cramped economy was on Etihad. I guess for a normal size person, it would be nice, but I was quite uncomfortable. Seat in front of me was resting on my knees and my tray table was broken so I couldn’t lay it down.  Ended up flying over both Afghanistan and Iran and lived to tell about it. Gonna crash for a few hours and then it’s time to get to work.

So, this will be a little more detailed than my status updates have been.  Hopefully in time, I’ll revive this blog and make it something people actually like to read.

We drove up to St. George, Utah today to see Shinedown perform at the Dixie Sun Bowl.  They’re playing next week in Vegas, but tickets are way more expensive, I can’t take off work, and I’ve never been to Utah so we decided to make the trek.  The drive up was quick and easy, and at times actually quite beautiful.  Going through the Virgin River Gorge was something else.  The river cuts right through the mountains and the highway follows pretty much over top of it.  And it’s actually a real river with flowing water, not at all like the rivers I’m used to seeing in West Texas that are nothing more than puddles.

We pulled into St. George about 5:45, or so I thought.  I completely forgot about the time change, so it was actually 6:45.  We were supposed to pick up the tickets at 7:00, so it worked out great.  The Dixie Sun Bowl is a rodeo bowl on the campus of Dixie College, right in the middle of a nice residential area of St. George.  We battled absolutely zero traffic and had no problem finding parking right on the street.  Score major points right there!  Got the tickets and went in to sit down.  This was the typical rodeo bowl I’ve been accustomed to all my life.  Big patch of dirt surrounded by 5-6 rows of concrete steps to sit on.  We sat through the first two bands – Unread and Adelitas Way – which both turned out to be pretty good.  Adelitas Way especially impressed me since they’re from Vegas.  There isn’t much of a local music scene here, so it was refreshing to hear a local band and a bonus that they were actually good.

By the time Shinedown came up, our butts were pretty sore from the concrete.  We sat the first few songs and then went down to stand on the dirt in front of the stage.  Wish we had been there from the start.  The sound and the view were much better.  Shinedown played for a good 80 minutes, if not more.  Hitting all their notable songs except Simple Man.  Now, I’ve seen hundreds of bands perform.  I’ve been to shows where there were 50 people in attendance and I’ve been in crowds that topped 50,000.  These guys are without a doubt one of the best bands I’ve seen.  The emotion they put into the performance is something that can’t be described.  Even though there were maybe only 800 people there, they treated it just as if there were 800,000.  At one point, Brent left the stage and walked up into both sides of the bleachers to recruit people to come down and “join the show”.  Sadly, you don’t see a lot of “rock stars” really giving a shit like that anymore.  I’ve seen so many shows where the guys were just up there on stage going through the motions and not really caring if anyone has a good time (Scott Weiland for example).  But Shinedown really makes the audience a part of the show and really adds to the whole experience.  It felt more like hanging out with buddies than it did in awe of some mega rock stars doing their thing.

So, all in all, it was well worth the $60 for two tickets and 100 mile drive each way.  I would gladly do it again, and I would gladly go to even greater lengths to see Shinedown again.  If you ever have a chance to see them play, don’t pass it up.  They don’t call them the hardest working band in rock for nothing.  They will give you your money’s worth and then some.

To my friends and family

To our family, friends, acquaintances, and anyone else who cares,

We have reached a point in our lives and our relationship where we have mutually decided that the best course of action is to no longer be married. There is no animosity. There is no hatred. We are still and will continue to be the best of friends. We just were not meant to be together as partners in life.

Geoffry Chaucer wrote, “There is an end to everything, to good things as well.” But for each end, there is a new beginning. We have no regrets for the life we have shared for the last 7+ years, for that is what has made us the individuals we are today. There were many good times and there were many rough patches. Through it all, we have grown and learned; and we are both in a much better place than where we started.

We have been living separate lives for several months now, though we still cohabitate for the time being. Some of you have seen us out and about with other people, and in the future you will continue to see us with others. We kept this from everyone for quite some time and we are sorry for any confusion that may have caused. We wanted to make sure we had everything in order and make sure this is what we both wanted. We are now ready to move on, so hence the notification. We love all our friends and family, and we are sorry if this upsets you. But, everyone must search for their happiness in life.

If you have questions or concerns, we implore you to ask them.

Sincerely,

Josh and Leslie
6 November, 2008

Today marks one year since Shinobi passed away.  I still think about him all the time and carry him with me every day.  I still have my two girls, but we are all lonely without him in our lives.  I’d give anything in the world to have him back right now.

I felt really strange yesterday as we packed up from Atlanta and headed off to the airport.  Something wasn’t right, but I didn’t know what.  Then, at the airport, this huge thunderstorm bursted out of nowhere.  First time I had ever seen something like that in my life.  As we finally boarded the plane and took off, I still felt very uneasy.  But it was not because of the flight, it was something else, I just didn’t know what.  Then, when we landed, I found out what was wrong.  The text messages of condolences started rolling in.  I frantically started calling people till I got the answer I did not want to hear.  My good friend, my idol, my mentor Evan Tanner has passed away.

I’m still very numb and confused.  No one is ever prepared to deal with death, but it’s so much harder with Evan.  His life was an open book.  He documented every day in his life.  I could go 2 months without seeing him or even speaking to him, but I always felt like I was right there beside him when I read his blog.

I first met Evan in the late 90′s at a USWF event.  He went on to fight Darrel Gholar at UFC 18 and I had my first chance to see him fight live on ppv in a real NHB fight.  From that moment on, I was Evan’s #1 fan.  We grew close over the years through our mutual love for MMA.  I helped him out in the final days of the USWF when he was the owner/promoter.  He took some time off in 1999-2000 to do some soul searching.  We lost contact for a while.  But then, he came back for two fights in the last two USWF events and then his return to the UFC at UFC 29.

Our lives were re-connected when Zuffa bought the UFC and I came on staff full time.  Since then, we’ve always been around each other or in touch with each other.  Evan was very much a loaner, but I always felt like I was one of the few people he could relate to.  Because I knew where he came from.  I knew what he had been through.  And I was still his #1 fan through all of that.  Anytime he called me to ask a favor, I dropped what I was doing to help.  And likewise for me, anytime I need his help with something, he put everything else on hold to make it happen.

It had been a few weeks since I had seen him at the TUF finale, but like I said, reading his blogs always made me feel like I was right there with him.  The last thing I ever said to him was how courageous and tough he was for the performance he gave against Kendall at the Finale and that’s why he’s my favorite fighter and hero.  In his typically modest fashion, he cracked a tiny smile through the full beard, patted me on the shoulder, and said “Thanks Josh”.

He was misunderstood by so many people, but he also touched so many people.  For every person who disagreed with the way he lived his life, there were 100 of us who respected it and wished we shared the same outlook and approach to life.  He lived every day for the moment.  Never having a plan.  Just living.  And he had so many great experiences along the way.  If I only experience a fraction of what Evan Tanner did in his lifetime, I will have led a wonderful life.

So Evan, as you ride your Harley off into the sunset…  May you rest in peace.  You will be missed.  I’ll see you again my friend.

Surprise surprise… I’m up late again.

The past week has been super-stressful at work, and it doesn’t shows signs of letting up in the foreseeable future. I simply have too many things to do and not enough hours in the day to get them all done. Perhaps if I had some sort of support staff to lighten the load, I would still be sane. But alas, I’m virtually a one-man show on a deserted island in the middle of the ocean. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining. I absolutely love what I do. I just hate the consequences of it, like not being able to spend any time with my family, not having any social life to speak of, and no time to myself to do the things I enjoy like tennis, shooting, and just working out. Maybe the future will bring changes, only time will tell.

One thing I do enjoy is watching movies and TV shows on my PSP while working these long hours. I’ve recently come across a new show that I’m really enjoying right now. It’s on the USA network and is called In Plain Sight. Also checked out a few semi-new movies recently (at least new to me) – Iron Man, Next, and Drillbit Taylor. Iron Man was so-so. I was never a big comic book kid, so I wasn’t very interested, but it was pretty cool from a cinematographic point of view. Next was more my type of movie, the one that keeps you guessing and you have to really pay attention to get it. Drillbit Taylor was lame, as the box office numbers clearly illustrated. Not worth the time it took to upload to the PSP.

New episodes of Ice Road Truckers started a few weeks ago too, and so far, it’s been pretty good.

Oh, and we saw Hellboy 2 on Saturday. Great movie. Not quite as good as the first, but still well worth the insane price of going to the movies these days.

Well, hopefully off to sleep shortly.

Tonight, I’m drained. Work has run me down to the breaking point and now I’m emotionally drained. In taking a break, I ran across a post on a favorite forum the sparked memories of Shinobi – our cat who passed away last September. I’ve managed to stay positive about it for the last few months, but tonight I can’t help but feel down. It will soon be a year he’s been gone and I still can’t believe it. I still hear his meow in the house sometimes and I wait for him to come lay down with me in bed. But now he will only live on in our hearts and the memories that we have.

I’ve been awaiting today for a couple weeks now.  I woke up as early as possible (i.e. just after noon) and drove out to my boy Big E’s place to get some more work done on my left arm sleeve.  I thought we’d be able to finish it all today, but in hindsight, I think I overdid it as is.  We did about 4 hours on the inside of the arm, leaving only the top of the hand and a small patch around the elbow to finish up next time.  My only previous experience with the inside part of the forearm and elbow area was the outlining we did in Colorado on my dragon.  It was a rough, but manageable.  Today, however, can only be described as “brutal”.

The outline took a little over an hour.  I wasn’t crying or anything, but I found out real quick the spots that were going to haunt me once the shading started.  When he broke out the 25 shader (as in 25 needles stacked), I got a bit nervous.  And of course, he started with one of the toughest spots – the inside of my wrist, grinding back and forth across all the veins, arteries, and ligaments.  I knew from before this spot would be no fun, but at least it was a small area and didn’t last long.  Then, for a while, he worked his way up the arm towards the pit of my elbow.  This was all good for the most part, but gradually got a little more intense the further up he got.  He stopped briefly to clean up a little and then got back to work on the really bad parts.

I opted against taking breaks, as usual, because I normally get in a groove where I just kind of go numb after a while.  I never found that groove today though and I paid for it at the end.  The last 45 minutes or so were the roughest I’ve ever experienced of all the hours of tattooing I’ve sat through.  It just seemed to go on and on forever with no end in side.  I really have no way of describing the pain for you people that don’t have tattoos there.  I guess maybe if you pinch the thin skin on the inside of your arm, just above the elbow.  Pinch it as hard as you can.  Multiply that pain by 100 and then stick your arm in an oven at 350 degrees.  That’s probably somewhere close to what it felt like.

Alas, it’s over now and all is well.  Should be healed in a week or two and then we’ll start plotting the finale.

A reader asked me to post about how I got started in photography, so here’s the story.

I’ve always been shooting photos for as long as I can remember.  As a kid, maybe 6-8 years old, I was into BMX freestyle bikes and such.  We went to all the competitions that were within a few hours of home.  I got a little Kodak camera for Christmas one year and I took that thing with me everywhere.  I really liked going to the BMX competitions and taking photos of my favorite riders in action.  As I grew up and pursued other interests, photography took a back seat for  awhile.  But, in high school, my brother got really involved in photography.  He took a couple classes and bought a shitload of equipment with the hopes of eventually building his own dark room and studio.  That got me back into it.

When I discovered the UFC, I got into it hardcore immediately.  Once the internet came along to our area, about 3 or 4 years after the first UFC, I was online constantly trying to learn all I could about the UFC and the sport we called NHB back then.  I made a lot of friends and started going to small shows like the USWF in Amarillo and Lubbock.  I realized that the coverage of those types of shows was shit at best.  So, I started taking my crappy camera along and taking photos and writing reports of the shows.  I kept a generic website/blog back then of my adventures (http://members.xoom.com/jhedges).  As the readership grew, I slowly upgraded my camera equipment and started traveling more to cover shows.  Eventually, ufighting.com was born and I was being hired by promoters to photograph their events and clothing companies to shoot their products.

I was going through college at Texas Tech during the hayday of ufighting.com (1999-2001).  In mid-1999, I hooked up with some people at SEG (former owners of the UFC) who had watched me build ufighting slowly from the ground up and they asked me to help them out.  I went to a few UFC events and shot photos.  I helped out with the website, marketing, and stuff.  Ufighting.com even was featured in one of the old UFC barker shows on DirecTV prior to UFC 26 (if anyone still has a tape of this by any chance, I’d love to get a copy of it).

After UFC 26, I went out to LA for a few weeks and met a lot of great people.  I built some relationships that would lay the groundwork for my future and formed some great friendships.  A few of those people are still involved in my life today, nearly 10 years later.  Some of them, I wish were, but sadly we lost contact years ago.

Fast forward to December 2000, just before UFC 29 in Japan.  I heard some rumors from my friends on the West Coast that some big money guys in Vegas were going to buy the UFC.  At first, I thought “Yeah right.  Who the hell would pay anything for the UFC?”  John Perretti was also supposedly trying to line up investors to purchase the dying company so that he could bring back all his guys from Extreme Fighting.  That obviously never materialized.  Then, just a few days after Christmas, I got a call from my friend in California.  He tells me “Dude, the UFC has been sold.  You need to call this guy Dana and tell him what you’ve been doing.  He runs the shit now.”

So, I call up this guy Dana on his cell phone and introduce myself.  He was baffled at what I told him I did, because apparently there were other people from the old company who supposedly handled all that.  We talked for a couple hours that first time and really got to know each other.  He invited me out to their first show in New Jersey (UFC 30), but I had prior commitments that would not allow me to be there.  I already had flights booked to LA to spend Christmas and the first part of the year with my girl out in California.  So, we decided on UFC 31 instead, which also turned out to be in New Jersey.

I flew out to Philadelphia in late April for UFC 31 and was super stoked.  I had several meetings setup with Dana and others and I was really excited about the direction they were taking the new UFC.  So, on Wednesday of fight week, I had a meeting with Dana and Joe Silva to talk about what I wanted from the UFC.  That’s the point I guess where I officially asked for a job.  They were still such a young company that they had to come up with a plan to fit me in.  So, we all agreed to go to the drawing board and figure something out.  We decided to meet again at UFC 32, just a few weeks later in the meadowlands.  I still had a few weeks of school anyways, so I wasn’t going anywhere soon.

Come time for UFC 32 in north Jersey.  This time, I met with Dana, Joe, and Lorenzo Fertitta himself.  This was my formal job interview.  And I think to this day, I’m still the only guy in the company who had a job interview with Lorenzo.  It lasted about 2 hours and went really well.  Dana said he’d give me a call soon after the show and let me know all the details.  I was still skeptical at that point, but was just excited to be involved with the UFC.  So, UFC 32 came and went and I left New Jersey for LA because I had 3 guys fighting in the inaugural WEC event a few days later in Lemoore, CA.  From there, I flew straight to Dallas to meet up with my brother for our annual pilgrimage to Ozzfest.  After attending the concert, we drove home the next day to Big Spring.  About an hour into the drive on Wednesday morning, I get a call from Dana.  He’s like “Dude, do you want to move to Vegas?”  I’m like “Yeah, sure.  When do you want me there.”  He says “We need you to start on Monday.”  I’m like “Cool, I’ll be there.”

So, we got back home asap and packed all my shit into a small uhaul and my mom’s blazer and departed for Vegas on Thursday morning.  We pulled into Vegas around 4pm Saturday afternoon, checked into the hotel, and started looking at apartments.  Nothing was available for like a month, so I spent the first few weeks of life on my own at Palace Station Hotel.

In the early days, I was working mostly in PR and dealing with the ppv providers for UFC.  After about a year, I convinced Dana to give me a shot at doing the photos and all is history from there.  I’ve been the head/primary photographer for every UFC and WEC event under Zuffa’s ownership since UFC 38, as well as all the seasons of The Ultimate Fighter.
So, hope that helps shed some light on how I got to where I am.

Got a new A/C unit for the bedroom upstairs and I finally know what it feels like to be cool at night in bed.  It’s a nice 72-degrees up here now and boy does it feel good.  Sadly, it hasn’t helped me sleep any better.  I went back to work for a couple hours after installing the unit and am now back home and wide awake.  Luckily, the weekend is approaching and my work hours become even more lax.  I still have to work, but it doesn’t matter at all when I come in.  So, I’ll probably head in around 2pm or so on Saturday, after I take a drive up north to go shooting.